That time I bought fish from TJ maxx.

Where would you go on a shopping spree?

There are only a handful of places in the world where you can buy a tongue scraper, wireless earbuds, pillows, and fish.

TJ Maxx, Ross, Walmart, and maybe Costco or Sam’s club.

I like hiking. I like camp food. I will eat dehydrated food for a normal dinner at times. So of all the places in the world to find Patagonia brand dehydrated fish, TJ Maxx was not on my radar.

Normally these bad boy fillets go for around twelve to fifteen dollars a piece. However I stumbled upon a treasure trove of sockeye and wild pink salmon that was priced at a mere five dollars per.

I felt like I had stumbled upon the dead sea scrolls. And yes, there was probably just as much salt.

So I did what any self respecting astute individual like myself would do. I bought them all.

Seven packages of dehydrated fish. Last week I ate fish everyday for lunch. My coworkers were appalled.

They said it smelled like the worst cat food they’ve ever smelled. That’s probably because I heated it up in the microwave per the package instructions.

I only did that once. One was enough.

The rest of the week I accompanied the fish with handfuls of mixed nuts, which felt very European.

It also left my coworkers very concerned. They think I’m poor and can’t afford real lunches.

I’m not poor, I’m cheap. After all, most days I would have more important things to buy, like alcohol.

However this day would be different. I would still buy alcohol, I would just be poor too.

Shortly after leaving TJ Maxx, we went to my favorite department store..Ross dress for less.

Probably my favorite store. I know it’s probably my favorite store because somehow I managed to spend three hundred dollars there.

Ross is my go to. My tried and true. Most all my clothes come from Ross. Most of my shoes come from Ross. I exclusively buy Himalayan sea salt at Ross.

This trip I found a Wahl professional barber hair dryer. I nearly bought a pair of hair clippers. Ross is starting to acquire some reputable branded grooming equipment which only further excites me.

I purchased some Skullcandy wireless earbuds that I am tickled pink over. That pink reference felt like a salmon callback, but it was a little flaky at best.

Fifteen dollars for headphones that retail for sixty dollars. A twenty dollar blow-dryer that retails for seventy.

Cologne, clothes, a welcome mat, Hell I even bought three cases of liquid death because Ross was selling them for ten dollars a case.

When I got to the register I told the lady I got a little carried away. She gave me a disgruntled look and said “Oh I know that’s right.”

I shrugged it off knowing I would be pounding a beer eating salmon while staring at the three cases of liquid death I bought.

Just kidding I didn’t eat the fish that day.

Anyway, I don’t really know where to end this other than where we began. For me, the only place I accidentally find myself going on a shopping spree is Ross. TJ Maxx is cool, but they don’t have quite as many unique items. Except that time they had fish.